A man who left his family behind on a European vacation, because his mother-in-law used his toothpaste, is facing backlash online. In a post on Reddit's popular "AITA" (Am I the A******) subreddit, the man, 38, wrote that he and his wife, 35, had been planning on taking a vacation to Venice, Italy with their five-year-old daughter. "Venice has always been my wife's idea of a romantic city, so it's been her dream to go there," the Reddit user wrote. However, the man said that his wife's mother soon found out about the trip and was invited to join as well.
"My wife was very supportive of this idea, but I was more reluctant," the man said. "My wife planned everything, booking the hotels and the restaurants," he added. However, to his "dismay", his wife booked just one room for the group of four with two queen beds, setting off a series of conflicts. The Redditor argued that because of the room setup, his mother-in-law was "constantly in my space" because she was sharing his wife's "expensive" products, such as face wash, shampoo and lotion, and sitting on their bed.
Take a look at the post below:
AITA for going home early on a family vacation after my mother in law constantly invaded my privacy?
byu/Objective-Search5603 inAmItheAsshole
"It is very unhygienic to me and I don't like that she was sitting on the bed that me and my wife share, as I am a very private person," the man said. "She also rummaged through our suitcase looking for a hair tie, and it really irked me that she did so without asking me. I don't like the thought of her looking through our stuff when we're gone, so I locked it," he continued.
The moment the man called his "final straw" was when he realised that his mother-in-law had been using his and his wife's toothpaste, which he claimed made him feel "ill". "I don't like the thought of her putting her tooth brush close to (or even on) the toothpaste nozzle and I was ill the more I thought about it," he wrote.
"I asked MIL if the only reason she came was to freeload off of me and my wife, as she didn't pay for any of the expenses (hotel, amenities, food), only her own plane tickets. I said that I've asked her politely several times to stop using my wife's stuff, especially because I share it with her and it's very inappropriate," the user continued.
According to him, his mother-in-law told his wife about the incident, and she, in turn, screamed at him. At the time, he noted, he felt "very angry" because he paid for the trip with his own money and it was now "ruined".
"I changed the date of my plane ticket and went straight home. My wife has called me several times afterwards, screaming at me and saying that our daughter is upset," he finished the post, noting that his wife had her own bank card and could pay for herself to either get home or stay in Italy. He also added that he had been ignoring his wife's calls "to take some time for my own mental health."
"I feel bad that our daughter was caught in the situation, but it was really not acceptable what my MIL did and I had to set some boundaries before it gets worse," he finished.
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The post was shared just two days back. Since then, it has accumulated more than 1,000 upvotes. In the comments section, users declared that the user was, indeed, "the a******", arguing that he wasn't clear about what he wanted from both his mother-in-law and his wife, and that he had unrealistic expectations for cleanliness.
"Your wife books the wrong hotel room so your solution is to abandon her on her dream vacation, forcing her to care for your high-maintenance kindergartener on her own? Couldn't you have booked a separate room for your MIL instead of abandoning your wife and child?" wrote one user.
"Sharing toothpaste gives him cooties? And MIL sitting on the bed is bad because it's unhygienic? Why does [he] even care that MIL is sharing wife's face wash, shampoo etc," said another.
"You are actively harming your marriage by continuing to ignore her calls. All of this happened because you couldn't communicate like an adult (how hard is it to say 'let's go buy another toothpaste so you don't have to use ours' for example?) and now you're doing the opposite of damage control by avoiding her on purpose and claiming that it's for your mental health." expressed a third user.
In the comments section, the original post then wrote to his critics, thanking them for the advice and noting that he realised his mistake. "I'm taking tonight to write a sincere apology and I will be calling my wife first thing in the morning tomorrow. Thank you again. I love her more than anything and I want to make amends," the man wrote.
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